new soul.

I'm a new soul
I came to this strange world
Hoping I could learn a bit about how to give and take.

But since I came here
Felt the joy and the fear
Finding myself making every possible mistake.


(Many thanks to Brit for sending me the YouTube clip of "New Soul" and introducing me to the wonderful Yael Naim.)

I feel like this song couldn't have come to me at a better time. Lately, I've been asking myself if the way in which I'm going about my study abroad experience is at all how I want it to be. It's like I've willingly allowed myself to become the typical American-student-in-England that I swore before coming here I wouldn't turn into. I am having a wonderful time, accumulating hilarious stories and racking up the photos, but is this really what I want to remember about England? I think it's quite ironi that, before coming out here, I told myself that I probably wouldn't come away with many close friends, and that would be OK, because I'd be experiencing a new world and, subsequently, learning more and more about myself everyday. However, it's like the complete opposite has come true. Well, almost complete opposite.

I've met these amazing people who I already can't imagine not having in my life. But, because of it, I feel like I haven't experienced this world to its fullest and, what's more, I haven't become a new soul at all, I don't think.

I'm usually the girl who finds exciting things to do, wanders around and explores, looks for unique ways to live her life. But lately, rather than embrace that mentality, I feel like I've fallen into this persona (possibly the persona I was looking for back in Kansas, who knows) that I'm not too certain I want to embrace.

I'm hoping, though, that I can get back into the groove I was in prior to last semester, really. Honestly, as this school year has been, I really don't know what's happen to my propensity for wandering. I guess that's what happens when you find people you actually want to spend time with; you lose all of the time for yourself.

So here's my plan (and I guess I have to stick to it, since I'm putting it in writing, eh?):

I am going to find and explore something new everyday, no matter how small it is. Today I guess I had two or three adventures: Bob and I walked down to a costume shop so I could get some black hair spray for Pop Star Birthday tonight. Then, rather than take the bus back to Digby after seminar, I walked back, but not down London Road. I took the other route and ended up in the little 2nd hand book store I've been meaning to go in since we got here. So, success has found me already, I 'spose.